Women Speak Out About SLex!

I'm thrilled by the response to my survey on women and SLex.  Of course, I already had my own opinions, but I wanted to get beyond anecdotal evidence and get some more objective information about how women feel about SLex, how they experience it, and how it shapes their Second Life.  The results led me to some conclusions that suprised me, as you can read in my new post at New World Notes.

But for those who want more than my analysis, here are the full results of the poll, taken by almost 200 residents over a two-week period.  Do you disagree with the conclusions I reached?  Do you have further insights?  Or do you just have a racy personal story you'd like a platform to share?  Then leave your thoughts in the comments, after the survey below!

The Gorean Girls

Gorean girls are easy to spot.  I’ve often come across one of them while out shopping: an invariably buxom lass, her peaks and valleys barely concealed under wispy silks, kneeling meekly beside a mountain of a man sporting more pointy metal objects than a silverware drawer.  I’ve also learned to spot them by their profile, quick to let me know that they are owned and collared, and that If I have any problem with them I’m to take it up with their master.  With first impressions like these, I must admit wondering whether all Gorean girls were actually men, because surely no woman in their right mind would live like that!

But to turn my back on Gor is to turn my back on one of the largest and most vibrant communities in all of Second Life.  What's more, I had a suspicion that the relationships born of this rigid roleplay structure would likely defy all stereotypes, and prove to be deep, rich, and utterly fascinating.  So, wrapped in silks and on my knees, I spent two weeks alongside sisters in slavery, trying to understand the appeal of the Gorean lifestyle.  

The result of these interviews is up now on my NightMoves column on New World Notes.  However, it was impossible to share everything I learned from them in a single post.  So here on my personal blog, I offer up three conversations I had with these remarkable women.  

Here they are, The Gorean Girls!  Read on, and get the story in their own words.

NIGHT & DAY...and thoughts on collaboration

Today is the day.  After almost two months of conversations, dozens of scheduling battles, an ongoing parade of Dropbox transfers, and 150 gigs of hard drive space, Botgirl Questi and I are thrilled to share our first machinima collaboration, NIGHT & DAY.  Its the first in a 3-part series that casts us as a virtual-world Kirk & Spock duo, thrust headlong into crazy adventures across space and time.  It has been more fun, and also more work, than I ever would have guessed.  If you haven't already, check it out premiering on New World Notes!  Please use HD fullscreen:)

I've only just realized just how critical the teamwork dynamic is when working on a complex project.  I don't want to break my arm patting us on the back, and try to paint a picture of us as an unstoppable creative team, but I do think I've learned some valuable lessons about what it takes to successfully collaborate in the unique and challenging environment of a virtual world.  Here's a picture of what I think has made my work experience with Botgirl successful, and the attributes I'll now consider non-negotiable when I think about collaborating with anyone in the virtual world:

Identical Priority - As much as I've cared about this project, I've simply not been willing or able to make it a priority over the demands of RL family and work.  Botgirl's in the same boat, so it took all the friction out of the million schedule challenges along the way.  I shudder to imagine the drama that could come from a collaboration where one person views it as top priority, and the other as merely a fun diversion.

Mutual Trust - One thing I've really enjoyed about this project was that it pushed me into new challenges.  I did the shooting and much of the editing, which was totally new for me.  Quite frankly, looking at our skills and experience, that task should have fallen to Botgirl.  However, she was willing to take a risk so that I could have a chance to grow.  Really, it came down to trust.  Through working together in the past, she knew she could trust in the creativity I would bring to the task...and more importantly, I knew she had the skills to save my ass if I got in over my head!  I can't imagine devoting ANY of my precious and scant free time to collaborate with someone without that safety net of trust.

Creative Humility - As friends and fellow bloggers, Botgirl and I have both been very free with our input (read: constructive criticism) on each other's work.  From that, we both knew that neither of us had a my-way-or-the-highway mindset.  While we each focused on different tasks to share the workload and get the job done, there was no feeling of, "This is my part, that is your part."  We each held our ideas loosely, never digging in our heels to protect a pet concept or favorite idea.  Yeah, its kind of scary.  But I would posit that its the most satisfying way to work.

Please head over to Botgirl's blog to get her take on the project.  Happy viewing...and stay tuned for Episode Two!

NOTE:  Botgirl and I want to give special thanks to brgn Halberstam from L+N Signature Designs for donating her remarkable SCORPIUS Steampunk ship to the project.  See it and her other astounding creations inworld here.

LADIES...Let's Talk About SLex

I still remember my first time.  I was two days old, waddling around Help Island, trying to figure out why the nifty free hair I just bought kept attaching itself to me in the form of a giant sign.  He was my knight in shining armor - or rather, ears and a tail - an official Second Life Mentor.  With the polished wisdom of a Jedi Master, he revealed deep mysteries to me, like how to open a package, position my hair, and turn off my typing animation.  And then...poseballs.  Its a part of everyday life, he said, and I needed to know how to use them.  Before I knew it, we were twisted together like a hot buttered pretzel, and I was frantically trying to reverse all the lessons I'd just learned on how to get dressed!

Since that awkward but enthusiastic effort at avatar love, I've come to appreciate Second Life sex as asuprisingly complex transaction.  It can be deeply moving and profoundly satisfying, or so agonizingly boring that you fake a client crash just to make it stop.  But whether good or bad, its a nearly universal part of the virtual life experience, and it plays a culture-shaping role in Second Life.  So its only fitting that I spend some time exploring the subject in my role as Love & Relationships Columnist at New World Notes.

And as it should be - LADIES FIRST!  In the comments below,  pretend the guys aren't listening and tell me what SLex means to you.  Get real, and if you need to, get nasty.   Also, please spend a few seconds taking the survey linked below, and see how your predilections compare to those of other residents.  Have fun!

And men, don't worry.  You get your turn next week :)

                       ***LADIES - TAKE NIGHT'S SEX SURVEY HERE***

We Will Live On

The question up for discussion right now on New World Notes is, "Should Chestnut begin covering events in worlds other than Second Life". The moment I heard the question, the answer was obvious: YES.   In fact, the answer was so immediately clear that it caught me off guard.  I had to ask myself... WHY?   Why am I apparently so quick to grant that kind of coverage to the comparatively backwater collection of grids rising up to challenge the preeminence of Second Life, my beloved virtual home?

Is it because I've come to fear that the future of my world is in question?  Well, I'd be lying if I said the thought hasn't crossed my mind.  While Second Life has always had a clamoring chorus of naysayers and booger-flickers heralding it's eminent fall, something now seems different.  Mass layoffs, plunging revenues, Emeraldgate, all crowned by a typical tasty dollop of poor communication and cherry of spin on top.  In-world morale is at an all-time low, and that's no small achievement.  So yes, I have imagined a future where avatars are forced to band together like ragtag refugees fleeing the fallen Caprica of Second Life, hoping to find a new start on some digital Earth.  But as much as I would relish the opportunity to re-brand Night as Starbuck, I don't think this apocalyptic vision is what leaves me to ready to grant such validity to these other upstart worlds.

Is it because I think these grids are now deserving of more attention, somehow finally ready for prime time?  Well, yes, that's true too.  While I do have a Blue Mars account, I wouldn't pretend that qualifies me as a brave explorer of new worlds.  But I have to admit being deeply inspired by reports from bold personalities like soror Nishi, who has taken her artistic vision to new levels at IBM, or Ener Hax , who has worked to establish OpenSim as a great option for educational programs, or my own boss Hamlet Au, recognizing there are important stories to be told in Blue Mars.  Yes, they all say its not as stable and as feature-rich out there as it is in Linden Land.  But what they gain in freedom, opportunity, and money saved is enough to make even this shameless SL fangurl feel pangs of wanderlust.  But its not merely the siren song of metaverse adventure that has me ready to advocate embracing a wider virtual world.

So what is it?  Well, I think my break from Second Life made my priorities clear.  In 17 months, I never once found myself pining for Help Island Public.  I didn't yearn for my spacious inventory.  I hardly even missed the admittedly nifty ability to teleport.  In other words, I didn't shed a single tear over the platform.  Clearly my allegiance doesn't lie with Second Life.

My allegiance lies with Night.  And with Ess.  And Botgirl.  And Charlanna.  Scooter.  Trinity.  Val.  My allegiance lies with these and a couple dozen other beings of passion and light, whose digital expressions do as much to mold me in the flesh as any real-world relationship.  And while all of us call Second Life home, none of us are bound there.  We keep in touch with tweets and plurks far more than inworld messages.  We stretch our minds by blogging and our hearts through reading and our spirits through any number of creative projects.  The metaverse has become to us a springboard, merely a launchpad into personal explorations and relational bonds.  And whether Second Life fails in a year or thrives for decades, we will outlive it.  Night will outlive it, or rather, transcend it, living and learning and loving across platforms yet unknown and undreamt of, challenging and growing me until the day I die.

Should New World Notes cover events on platforms other than Second Life? Yes, of course. Why? Because Second Life is not really the New World.   WE are.  Platforms will rise and fall, mediums will come and go, but the forces of personality born in Second Life will stretch across them all.

We are the New World, and we will live on.

Striking a Balance

Balancing the demands of the real world against the desire to lead a Second Life is a constant, complex dance for all of us.  This would be true even if it was purely a question of logistics, of managing hours in a day - but we all know its far more than that.  Managing relationships,  headspace, and pure emotional bandwidth are skills not taught in any time management book, but talents essential to survival when balancing two worlds.

I'm working on a post for New World Notes about the challenge of sustaining a healthy RL/SL balance over the long haul.  Along the journey of my virtual life, many people have shared practical tips that have worked for them (whether I've listened is another matter), and that's exactly what I want to do in this upcoming column.  AND HERE'S WHERE YOU COME IN - In the comments below, please tell me how you do it!  What skills, tips, tricks, attitudes, defenses, and best practices help you keep your balance?  Please, share your hard-won knowledge and experience, and I'll use your feedback to craft an article that I hope can be a help to people throughout the metaverse.

Let the commenting commence!

Two Worlds Collide

Hello readers!  Welcome to NightLight, my latest effort to capture and put words to the blissfully schizophrenic and painfully beautiful experience of virtual life.  Its especially exciting to launch my new blog with this post, which celebrates a return to collaborating with a longtime friend, as well as a marriage between two worlds I dearly love.

As I will explore in greater depth in a post this week in New World Notes, my heart is now torn between two captivating but drastically different virtual worlds.  Second Life is, without question, my first love.  It is the world where I have been stretched by profoundly deep relationships, where I found my forgotten creativity and inner voice, and where both my virtual and real selves came to life.  But during my self-imposed exile from Second life...I took another lover.  The Lord of the Rings Online (LOTRO) has be my savior when I've found myself jonesing for a virtual world fix.  It has all the joys that a good fling should: its fast, easy, unadulterated FUN.

Upon my return to Second Life, I immediately met back up with my dear friend and collaborator Botgirl Questi, and of course the conversation instantly turned to what kinds of creative hi-jinks we could be about.  Almost immediately, a machinima concept began to stew that would smash these two worlds together like a crazy blind date.  I won't reveal the storyline, but I can't resist giving you at least a little peek at the work so far.  Watch it below, or hop over to Vimeo to see it in HD.


When Worlds Collide from Night Flower on Vimeo.

If you haven't been there already, head on over to Botgirl's blog, where her minion Majic Questi has posted her own behind-the-scenes peek at our theatrical madness.  And stay tuned...there's more to come!

NOTE: Botgirl and I want go give special thanks to brgn Halberstam from L+N Signature Designs for donating her remarkable SCORPIUS Steampunk ship to the project.  See it and her other astounding creations inworld here.